Pantyhose over face
Image: Wormed of Horrors

Sure, we as crossdressers like to have our fun and our whole motto could arguably be summed up as “we do whatever the fuck we want, dressed as women.” While we surely do not live by a behavior code (or any kind of code, really), there are some things, however, we might want to pay some mind to. As in please, for the sake of our beloved crossdressing community, cut this shit out.

So without further ado, I present ten things crossdressers need to stop doing right this second.

10. Using the terms “passable,” “lesbian,” “slut” or “whore” to describe ourselves unless, of course, a vagina was recently installed.

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Probably most of us, the crossdressers of the world, have gone through a phase at some point where we ponder giving up our longtime perversions for the “normal” life of a manly man. If this happens, I say go for it and give up the girly goods all the way. Here are ten reasons to get you going.

10. You try to pass for a woman but can’t really get past “man.”

9. There was that one really painful tucking incident you don’t ever want to repeat again.

8. Mom’s muumuu and large cotton panties aren’t as satisfying as before.

7. Pantyhose seems to be falling out of favor for bare, hairy legs with women. Might as well follow suit.

6. Your parents told you to.

5. Then God had a word with you.

4. Time to forget those lowly crossdressers and upgrade to a transsexual.

3. Nasty breakup with the one single girl in the world that actually liked your crossdressing.

2. Spanx just can’t hold you back any further nowadays.

1. You’re in dire need to come out of the closet as a heterosexual male.

For us pantyhose (or tights) enthusiasts, surely we have quite a collection in which a pair here or there just can’t quite stand another wear. So, as much as we hate saying goodbye to a loyal friend, it would be nice to see a former flame exit with a bit of glory. Here are some suggestions.

1. You can finally use them to rob the liquor store around the corner.

2. Wash and presto… hand-me-downs for your girlfriend.

3. Actually don’t wash them and sell them to those weird freaky people on eBay.

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For anyone who has a pantyhose fetish, like yours truly, over a lifetime you are destined to be caught at least once slipping on those silky pantyhose with a deer-in-headlights look on your face. Here are a list of proven excuses to help ease the situation.

1. I got a run in my sock and these were all that were left.

2. Hello, they’re MANTYhose!

3. They always say nothing beats a great pair of Leggs.

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