So, Last Night I Came Out Again (By Mistake)

Well, for starters, I’ll let it be known that I’m still in the closet with my crossdressing. I’ll still have a quick public outing here or there but I’m still not quite known as THE local crossdresser just yet.

To be honest, I don’t see that changing any time in the future and I’ve been fine with that for a while now. My en femme crossdressing world colliding with my “real” world with my friends and family is not a reality I wish to happen. Believe me, I’ve mulled it over and even sought advice about it and came to the conclusion that maybe they are best apart. And that is OK.

So that said, last night I happened to be doing my little dress-up thing and, while I don’t always go full makeup, I almost always put lipstick on. I usually like some kind of bright pink or burgundy shade and I happened to swipe on a fuscia color that I love. Well, of course at some point I had to get back into to boy-mode, then run down to the “mini mart” store nearby my apartment building and get a few items for dinner.

Off went the femmy clothes, on went the pants and sweatshirt and off out the door I went.

As I am about to arrive at the store, I walked past a guy staring at me like he recognized me. Odd, I thought since I didn’t recognize him but as I opened the door to the store, it triggered a sudden sheer terror in me that I forgot to remove my lipstick. The clerk (who know me) saw me enter then quickly look down and leave as I did an awkward run-walk back home where I then removed that bright beautiful fuscia shade right off.

Now this little episode of “getting caught” wasn’t obviously as bad as, oh, when my stash of womens’ undies was found by my parents when I was around fifteen or so. Yet it was still one of those moments I preferred to avoid, especially out of carelessness. It didn’t appear there was any “harm” done either. I never saw that guy I walked past again and the clerk at the shop didn’t give me any weird look or say anything regarding my brightly painted lips. I suspect she may know my little secret though 🙂

Years back, something like this would terrorize me for days with me beating my head against a wall with doing such a stupid mistake to out myself. Nowadays, though, I would rather laugh about it and I actually feel kind of glad I “exposed” myself as if my toes are dipping the waters outside of that proverbial closet.

I still like to even give out little public “peeks” every once in a while. I have a rather large collection of bodysuits and, on a day I feel like breaking one out for public view, I’ll wear one underneath an unzipped jacket. Other times I’ll wear lingerie and black womens’ trousers with a rather androgynous Guess coat and a couple buttons undone. I’ll even add a light dab of Chanel on my neck, detectable only really close. In other words, I pick and choose my subtle crossdressing clues carefully.

Though I have a feeling the clerk down the street may already know that by now 🙂