Unfortunately, I’ve been a bit under the weather this past week. Nothing, however, beats the day that you wake up, sickness gone, and go about doing the things you had planned to do before the illness began.
Take today for example. I feel so good that the first thing on my mind is throwing on some of my girly wear to capture that silky feeling I love so much. But then I thought, “Why stop there?” Since I feel like this is a day that I can dedicate purely to crossdressing, I might as well document it all, right?
Of course it may reveal how absolutely boring I am but I don’t give a shit. I’ll have my fun (alone), then write…
After going through my treasure trove (read: massive suitcase full of lingerie, pantyhose, tights and other womanly things) one recent evening, I came across an item that I have had for over twenty years now. What better way to bring back the old memories of this lovely charm than to slip in on for old times sake and see if I still “have it.”
I remember buying this body slip, when I was sixteen, at a JC Penney after seeing an ad from the Sunday paper. I recall thinking that I absolutely had to have this while, at the time, I was experimenting with wearing lingerie for the first time. Lingerie, along with my teenage pantyhose fix, made me horny like nothing ever before during my youth in those days. Even more so than girls.
In the past, quite a few years ago, I remember the curiosity I had about my “problem” or my compulsion to crossdress in feminine pantyhose and lingerie. This was back in the days when the internet was in it’s infancy and you could actually start to find information on transvestism online.
Here was my primary self-diagnosis: transvestic fetishism, which is according to the DSM-IV (the psychologist’s bible)…
Today is a beautiful sunny morning so I decide to take a walk down to the mall just as it is opening. It’s a Wednesday, which I have off from work and I think to myself why not start out with a glass of wine at the Ruby Tuesday, just because I feel like it. I walk in, seat myself in the patio area and start sipping away.
A couple of glasses later, I find myself in an elated mood. Maybe it ‘s the bright sun or my one day of freedom from the toils of work but I feel happier than normal. Yet, simultaneously in my joyous demeanor, I being to feel incredibly horny. I just want to rip my clothes off and go into crossdressing mode which means slipping into something sexy (e.g. pantyhose and lingerie) making me feel irresistibly feminine.
After downing yet another glass, I get an idea. Instead of heading home to my silky collection in private, why don’t I just head into the Macy’s and try out theirs. I’m pretty sure they don’t allow you to try on undergarments (nor anyone really) but I feel pretty buzzed and seemingly invincible enough to give it a go. The idea overwhelms me enough for me to immediately pay my tab and walk right into the Macy’s next door.
Given my and Janine’s natural connection in the first scene, the crew decides to keep the film rolling rather than breaking for another take. Feeling rather hot and horny myself after our ass play with the double dong, I don’t want it to stop either. I can see Janine would agree from the lustful smile she is giving me.
We enter scene 2, still on the floor, and say our couple of lines.
Me: “I can’t resist you in your shiny leotard and silky tights.”
Janine: “Oh, I love it when they touch together!”
OK, not exactly Oscar winning dialog here but we start continue our crossdressing play caressing each other’s body and legs with some light kissing which leads us back into the full makeout we were doing earlier. Then, on cue, I reach down for the rip in Janine’s tights and extend it all the way up to her front, revealing her super hard girly rod which pops up like a jack-in-the-box. I now realize my longtime pantyhose fetish finally gets the upgrade it has always waited for: full on pantyhose sex.
Back in the 80’s, I remember my foray into crossdressing developing with the age of the workout video craze. When my parents would take me to a video rental store, I would sneak off to that area of aerobic videos, studying those boxes of VHS tapes on display. Looking at those beautiful, well toned women in stretched poses and in their brightly colored spandex leotards (plus a hint of their matching bright tights showing) made me aspire to be sexy like one of them. I basically viewed them as Superwomen in tights.
To my luck, my older sister would rent one of these videos on occasion. Then I would take my turn to watch it, as if it were a steamy porno, when she and everyone else was away. Unfortunately, my sis never opted for the same stylish workout gear, using a boring t-shirt and shorts without even the tights instead. Thus, she severely impaired my willingness to steal them from her. Nevertheless, while lacking the proper wear, I still could never resist the lure of the spandex era.
Since then times have changed, of course. More recently as an ode to those days, I never bought or used leotards but rather purchased thick, shiny exercise tights such as Danskin or Rumfp, on occasion and add them in the rotation while in my en femme ensemble. I liked these tights for what they were, thick and shiny, yet they never really turned me on quite like the more alluring pantyhose.
Next Saturday couldn’t come soon enough (pun intended). I arrive at the studio again to the same movie crew, Tanya, Paul the cameraman, Tom the producer and the lovely Cherry Knot. Yet, there was one other person there not present last week who I was introduced to as Janine, the crossdressing star Tanya had mentioned who was very beautiful and convincing. She wasn’t lying.
Both Cherry and Janine happened to be dressed up in their “costumes” already which consisted of spandex thong leotards, super shiny pantyhose, leg warmers and a cute little belt around their waists. This is quite the getup to satisfy that throwback leotard and pantyhose fetish that I guess they were seeking to do. I even remember my own fetish developing from all of those workout videos of the 80’s my mom had. Yet, to this day, it never goes away.
Tanya doesn’t waste time in handing me matching garments to wear: a shiny silver thong leotard, belt, black legs warmers and a pair of black pantyhose that weren’t the Wolfords from before but similar shiny workout tights that Cherry and Janine are wearing. I recognized them as being workout tights from JC Penney which I love to wear.
In high anticipation, I arrive at Tammy’s studio a little bit early. It gives me some time to calm myself down and stop my uncontrollable shaking from the excitement of starring in an adult crossdressing movie. I take a few deep breaths and chug down the mini-bottle of vodka I bought along the way. Slightly buzzed, I’m ready to go.
Tammy greets me warmly at the door and let’s me in. In plain view is the “studio” with a bed and surrounding cameras in one corner and a dressing area in another. She introduces me to two other gentlemen, one the cameraman Paul and, the other, the producer Tom. Everyone seems nice and relaxed which helps to reduce my anxiety.
Then another rather attractive woman steps into the studio introducing herself as “Cherry Knot,” one of the more frequented stars of their movies. I immediately fixate on her gorgeous long red hair and matching red spandex tank top holding back her huge breasts. Oh, and she mentions she specializes in forced feminization. I’m delighted to meet her.
It was one of those days where I was feeling glad to be feminine but I had the urge to venture out and find something new and sexy to throw on. Not that I didn’t have anything to wear. I mean there were plenty of cute miniskirts, tops and dozens of packages of unopened pantyhose in my closet. Heels practically filled in the rest of the space.
I guess its just the act of browsing and purchasing women’s clothes that I love so much and, admittedly, it does turn me on a bit. It feels good to basically tell the lady helping you that you are a crossdresser without actually telling her. Yet, today I’m going to my favorite lingerie shop where I am known as a crossdresser.
I had stopped in there for the first time a couple years ago looking for items “for my girlfriend.” I don’t know how but the lady there, Tammy, spotted me as a crossdresser instantly. I could tell by her not-so-obvious sarcasm at my choices for purchase and, although she didn’t call me out on it, she was very polite and treated me very well as one of her customers.
I’ve been around quite a few dating websites for the transgendered community and have been disappointed by nearly all of them. Usually, they are plagued by one or more of the following:
High monthly fees.
Too many weirdos, with cocks for profile pics, spamming your inbox for a quickie later on tonight.
Having to filter through non-transgendered (e.g. other fetishists) in meeting other crossdressers/transvestites.
While nice to see who has viewed your profile, you cannot anonymously view that of another.
